Time after time, I’ve heard other moms say that from the day their child was born, their life changed forever. Well, for me and mine, that saying took on a whole new meaning June 4th, 2021. The day our daughter was born. Although, so much happened after this day, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t shed light on the journey taken before getting there. I mean that’s pre-motherhood right? The anticipation and building up of everything that will bring us closer to our delivery date . So much unsolicited pressure on what should be such an untainted moment.

Like many others, when I found out I was pregnant, I HAD NO IDEA. However, funny enough, I was doing nothing to prevent this from happening. I can’t tell you that finding out didn’t scare me endless. My husband and I had just managed to save up some cash to move out of my parents place, so we really couldn’t fathom that we were now going to be responsible for a child! Crazy enough pregnancy does something to that innate mothering ability in some of us where nothing else matters. I was on cloud 9. There was a warmth that came from the thought and feeling of having a baby inside of me. As young women, you only ever dream of what that feels like and to have had the honor to have my own experience was priceless. You immediately go into full on planning and prepping mode. And let’s be honest, its not even for the baby ! It’s all things gender reveals, baby showers, maternity shoots, the list goes on.

I remember planning my gender reveal like it was yesterday. In the generation we live in, you can’t get enough of witnessing these Kodak worthy moments all over your timeline and not counting the days when you get to showcase your own. I immediately set a date, sent invites, bought a ton of blue and pink decorations, organized a food list, all of this while impatiently waiting for my 20- week anatomy scan. I was so excited,I set the date for my gender reveal two days after because I couldn’t imagine waiting any longer to find out. That appointment was January 21, 2021 @. 2:30 p.m. I wasn’t seen until 7 p.m. I was the last person to be seen. Here’s the thing about how I believe God works. Having been the last patient to be seen felt so intentional after now understanding the direction that appointment was going to take. I have never cried so hard in public like I did on this night walking out of that clinic. Every built up dream I had for that child, this experience and my family, had felt left on the examination table.